12-25-09 Christmas Day in Xalapa, Mexico

I got up early today and went for a run.  I was immediately concerned as nothing was open.  I had 2 avacados, an orange and some almonds in my room that were looking like Christmas dinner at the moment.

It was a wet, drizzly jog though town; traffic was nonexistent except for a few cabs with no passengers.  I made my way through the downtown plaza where there were the usual street people holding out cups and asking for monedas.  I offered each of them a "Feliz Navidad!" between breaths and was always greeted by a quick smile.

Fortunately, stores opened aroun 10am today so I enjoyed a nice brunch of fresh squeezed orange juice, locally grown coffee and a sirloin.

I've been to a few church services before in Latin America and have never been let down so naturally I was looking forward to the evening Christmas service at the local Catholic church in the downtown plaza.

I was dressed to kill in kinda clean garb with freshly polished motorcycle boots that looked like patent leather.  Immediately upon entering the church I was pleased to find a series of about a dozen dioramas depicting various events from the Bible.  I really hope these were all done by elementary school kids or blind senior citizens as they were simply terrible.  There was the scene with a doll fighting a smaller doll for David and Goliath, then the cardboard box/boat on the blue cotton balls for Noah's Ark and finally Moses parting the aluminum foil.

The service started promptly at 8pm when a procession of altar boys hefting 3ft sparklers came marching to the pulpit.  "Awesome!" I was hoping for some Screaming Mimis or even some conservative black snakes, but was out of luck.

Being that I'm a Presbyterian, I'm not up to snuff on the vernacular associated with Catholicism.  Their honch (sounds credible) led us in the Lord's prayer as well as Gracias a Dios en el Cielo to the tune of Gloria en Excelsis Deo.  Similar, but different.

Later, honcho dos, who looked exactly like my wild-haired Maori housing coordinator in New Zealand, Popo, took the stage.  She had clearly just come from an ugly sweater party where she probably won a ribbon.  Popo then went over to the manger and hoisted Mexican Lil' Baby Jesus into the air for all to see, reminding me of a very similar scene from The Lion King, er, 'El Rey Leon', which I watched most semesters in Spanish class.

Now, the manger in which Mexican Lil' Baby Jesus lay was clearly not a wooden trough meant to feed the local bovine population.  Oh no, here in Mexico he resides in a Vegas-styled orb-like device, akin to a large clamshell crossbred with an Easter egg.  It has all mirrored surfaces and is filled with that fluffy plastic which is used to stuff Easter baskets.  Under the fluffy stuff there appears to be a strobe light.  The outside of the of the orb is adorned with wraps of garland, sequentially flashing Christmas lights as well as glass balls.  Schucks, sure is fancy down here!