It has become more and more obvious that the old adage 'Everything is bigger in Texas' is at least partly true. This has become evident primarily with vehicles, billboards, roads and clothing sizes. These fellas are HUGE. I'm guessing the average person has around 2.5 chins in Tom Green County. Shoot, ya'lls a buncha chunkies! Now pas dem grits!
Another oddity that became blaringly apparent was Texan's affinity for their state. Specifically their love of Texas tatoos. I saw at least 5 tattoos of Texas in the local Wal-Mart. I have never seen a tattoo of the outline of Colorado, perhaps because we're just not as proud of our state. Then again, maybe it's because our state looks like a box.
I needed to check some emails so I went to the Mcdonalds across the street. I've stopped at several Mcdonalds to use their WiFi though didn't have much luck here. Upon asking the girl at the register if they had wireless, she gave me a blank look with a slightly opened mouth and didn't say a word. "You know, like, ummmm....internet..." I prodded. Still, no response. Her coworker then leaned over and said, "Mista, do you mean the Wee Fee?" Now I was the one with the blank look on my face. "Uh, yeah, Wee Fee would be great." "Oh, nah, nah, we don't got that here." She replied.
I ended up at a Starbucks that did have the Wee Fee and was fortunate enough to position myself facing a big ol' southern belle who gave a 5 minute monologue on raccoons. She was enlightening her coffee companion as to various facts and habits of the animal. First, raccoons (pronounced 'ruhkoons' down here) have a rough life with 75% of them perishing in road kill accidents. Later she went on to say that, "Cuz dem ruhkoons got little bitty opposable thumbs they can do ANYTHING a human can." Sure thing, lady.
Monday, December 21, 2009
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